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In the previous article (How to start with therapy) where we discussed the steps to start therapy; today we discuss about 'how to know if I need therapy', or 'is therapy the right solution for what I am going through'.
There are certain issues for which counseling is easily sought for, like body image, relationship issues, family issues, difficulty managing thought, feeling lost in life, feeling sad most of the time, etc. That does not mean counselling/therapy can be taken up only if one has these problems; Counselling/Therapy can be taken up for any problem/issue one faces because of which they feel uncomfortable with their thoughts, feelings, and the behavior patterns they have developed or do not wish to continue.
Let’s understand this with an example: You realize that you have started to snap at people and have become very bitter and sarcastic, which you usually don’t do; so this might feel ‘not you’.
Sometimes one is not able to identify the particular reasons for the changes, but feels it nonetheless.
So, our first reaction to it is,
“it’s just nothing... probably just a phase which will pass by” or, “I will get over it eventually”.
We use the solutions for OUR problems that we see OTHERS use. We often resort to self-help remedies. It is great if you are yourself able to resolve the discomfort, but not so great otherwise. Slowly, this begins to make one feel that they cannot escape or change it, or that this is how they have become as a person.
However, this is NOT true, and does not have to be that way.
To break it down, Counselling/therapy can be sought for any distress that one is facing which-
Hampers your daily life: Where you find yourself so preoccupied or exhausted that your daily activities like your morning routine (bathing, changing clothes), eating, studies or job work, are not done. You might see yourself forgetting to do them, or feel it to be pointless.
Not able to do any work the whole day: You may find yourself going about doing your chores very mechanically; or sitting with one work the whole day, and still not being able to finish it or even begin with it. It may be because your mind is constantly going back to the distress. For example, finding oneself sitting with only one book for the most part of the day, and still not being able to finish one page and registering what you just read
Feeling passive, helpless or lonely: Mostly becoming indifferent or avoidant of situations and people around you. It feels lonely most of the time even when with your dear ones and in social gatherings, as they fail to understand you.
Feeling numb to most emotions and thoughts: You find yourself not reacting to most situations, or to what people say. For example, one feels sad and hurt most of the time because of which they are not able to do the work. One is then scolded or punished off for it. They simply listen and walk away.
Thinking or acting excessively in ways harmful to you: This does not always mean physical harm or danger, but getting into reckless behavior which you know will make you feel bad about yourself in the end. Sometimes, we begin to feel we deserve the self-punishment or get comfortable in experiencing the hurt.
Feel disconnected with yourself: Sometimes you feel as not being yourself, as though you have “‘become’ into someone you don’t like or know anymore.”
It is continuing for 2 weeks or more: It's OK to feel sad/low; these are natural emotions all of us experience. However, it is of concern if they become the dominant emotions/mood you are in; or if you are constantly feeling like it, despite trying out ways to change, or feel better and at ease.
Remember, if you are experiencing anything like what we have discussed here, or are feeling distressed for any reason, your experiences are still valid and important. Even though it may seem trivial to others, it is STILL important, because you are not at ease…Your experience is unique to you and not everybody’s experiences are similar having the same solution.
Here, at Becoming Conscious Beings, it is a safe space for you to work through the distress, feel like Yourself, and have a happy wellbeing.
Let's tread this journey of healing & betterment together.
- Purvi Balasaria
Psychotherapist
W: www.becomingconsciousbeings.com
E: purvibalasaria@gmail.com
M: +91 9080610825
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