Nurturing the Nurturer

Caring for the wellbeing of Mothers

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We see the prepared lunches, the goodnight stories, the bruised knees kissed better. We see them have everything prepared to ensure that we have a  smooth day. We hear them cheer the loudest on our tiniest achievements. We feel them hold their breath and with a smile repeat themselves so many times, bear our harsh words and still have people tell her how to do a better job as a mother. We respect their strength, their sacrifice, their constant, unconditional love.

In all this however, the huge mental burden on the mothers, and the

potential harm it can cause to their health are often overlooked.  Although being a mother is immensely fulfilling, it is also a major change to their identity and life. The hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and the postpartum period: lack of sleep, the never-ending demands of childcare, and the pressure to “do it all” can all contribute to affecting their well-being.  Consider it.

A mother may be a working professional in addition to being a caretaker, nurturer, and manager of the home.  She may be juggling financial strains, social obligations, and the loneliness that occasionally comes with early parenthood. Being “on” all the time can cause anxiety, despair, and burnout.

WHY TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH OF MOTHERS?

 

Oftentimes in sessions and groups that I have conducted I have noticed gradually the mothers begin to lose their individuality and self concept .

An interesting anecdote -

Once when I conducted a group on motherhood with women, all the mothers spoke of, was about the kid and how they feel in the parenting journey of the kid. Even with prompts to notice their journey and changes, it was fascinating to see them only talk about the child, and parenting.

Conversations around mother’s mental health related to that of the child is common, but how it affects her individually is rare.. It often is accompanied with self neglect, being the 'perfect version', always scrutinized on how to be a better parent, what circles to hang out with, etc, etc. The dynamics of the family as a whole, the mother’s relationship with her partner, and her capacity to connect with her child can all be affected while she is having difficulties. Mothers flourish in their role and beyond when they’re adequately supported and emotionally well. Often self neglect comes in the way of ignoring or suppressing their emotions and manageable illnesses, which later tend to become chronic. They can follow their own goals and aspirations, establish stronger relationships, and raise their kids with greater joy and patience with safe and empowering support, resource and spaces to be themselves, move at their pace and not judged on a mistake.

 

SUPPORTING MOTHERS FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH & WELLBEING

Wellbeing of the child and herself, is NOT the sole responsibility of the mother; It requires the care, attention and support from the spouse especially along with that of the family and the community as a whole.

Here are some ways we can encourage wellbeing of mothers: 

• Start the dialogue: Asking the mother about her feelings and experiences. Listening and providing the support the mother actually wants. Establish safe environments for women to talk and share without being judged, criticized or corrected on her way of feelings and experiences.

• Encourage self -care: Remind moms that taking care of themselves is not selfish; rather, it is necessary for their health and capacity to care for others.

• Identify the warning signs: Recognize the indicators of postpartum depression, anxiety, and burnout. Oftentimes even if they're going through a tough phase, it is difficult for the mothers to take notice of the same. Encourage the mothers to seek the appropriate support for their wellbeing.

• Suggest improved resources: We require more postpartum support groups, and accessible, mental health services. Encourage spaces and talking to therapists as a space to relax and release their pent up exhaustion and other concerns.

• Empower their choices and suggestions for themselves: Listening and providing for the needs and the solutions stated by the mothers for their concerns.

• Highlight role models of women developing identity of themselves along with being a mother.

• Be patient and encouraging of their small steps.

Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. Let’s guarantee that mothers have the assistance and resources they need to manage this magnificent journey with courage, resilience, and good mental health. By acknowledging the unseen load and prioritizing their well-being, we can empower mothers to thrive and, in turn, create a healthier and happier future for everyone.

Author

Becoming Conscious Beings

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